A strong, happy and successful family, a family that is Christ-centered and united doesn’t just happen.

1) It takes time and study, just like any other worthwhile endeavor.

  • It is a result of careful planning, deliberate effort, determination and growth
  • Establishing a united home, involves proper adjustment to each other and incorporation of divine principles of marriage into the couple’s daily living and that of the children.

Marriage is a triangular affair


Life without God is futile. John 15:5a – For without Me you can do nothing

2) If the man and woman are properly related in a personal way to God, they will likely be properly related to each other.

3) Establishing unity in the family, involves 3 things:

  1. Establishing a divine order
  2. Living according to divine will and
  3. Making Christ the focus


It is of paramount importance that a divine order or chain of relationship, be maintained in a home.

  • The head of every man is Christ, the head of a woman is her husband and the head of Christ is God (1Cor. 11:3)
  • Children obey your parents in everything for this pleases the Lord (Colossians 3:20)

  1. For the Husband
  2. With divine authority vested in a husband comes responsibility (Eph. 5:25-29)

    Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them (Col. 3:19)

  3. For the Wife
  4. To the wife, God has given the privilege to choose freely to submit to her husband just as Christ voluntarily chose to submit to the Father (Phil. 2:5-9)

    · Let the wife also be subject in everything to their husbands (Eph. 5:24)· Col. 3:18 says, wives submit to your husband as fitting in the Lord.

  5. For the Children
  6. The divine order for children is that of obedience.

    Col.3:20 Children obey your parents in everything for this pleases the Lord.

  • This is the base of establishing unity in the home – If the foundation is not laid, you can fast, pray, etc. nothing tangible will come out of it – this is God’s order.

Making Christ the Focus

  • As a Christian, you cannot afford to base your whole life, marriage, and home on culture, customs or traditions. They will disappoint you because they are made by humans. For unity to reign you need Christ to give you wisdom and guidance.
  • · Psalm 127:1 – Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.

  • A Family that prays together stays together.
  • a. James 4:2 – You do not have because you do not ask

    b. Ask and you will receive, that your joy may be full. John 16:24

    Prayer is the divine rule for living. When you pray, you gain

    i. Knowledge of the truth – against deception

    ii. Knowledge of the truth – that helps you to know your rights and your authority

  • Communication – Amos 3:3. Can two walk together except they agree?
  • In establishing unity in the family, Communication is very vital.

    – Communication is a process (either verbal or nonverbal) of sharing information with another person in such a way that he understands what you are saying. Talking, listening and understanding are all involved in the process of communication.

    – It is often the missing link in the family.

    – It is the lifeblood of a strong family.

    – Communication means having something in common.

5 major ingredients must accompany an effective Communication:

a. Honesty – don’t lie or exaggerate

b. Speaking the truth in love – What a delicious meal. Next time, please cut the salt.

c. Speaking your spouse’s language – because of the background.

d. Speaking with understanding.

e. Thinking before you speak. It is not enough to be truthful and honest – consider your partner and your children’s best interest. – Be quick to hear and slow to speak.

Prov. 29:20 – do you see a man hasty in his words? There is more hope for fool than for him.

Avoid the following communication killers

  • Selfishness – always right in your own eyes
  • Silence – silence as a weapon in resolving conflict
  • Wrong words – Words can build or destroy
  • Wrong timing – Ecc. 8:6 – There is a proper time or procedure for every matter.

Prov. 24:3 – By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established.

To establish unity in the family

– Spend time together as a family ineating, watching a program and studying the Bible

– Learn to accommodate one another

– Understand the differences in people.

– Understand the personality of your spouse and children – physical make up, sex, emotion and intuition.

– Love and appreciate the members of the family.

1 Cor. 13:4-8. Love is patient, kind, does not envy, not boastful, not proud, not rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered – keeps no record of wrong. etc.

– Commit to each other – Luke 11:17. A house divided against itself will fall.Commitment is what marriage vows are all about.

Be Good Parents
Eph. 6:4 – Do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Parenting is an assignment given by God
Good parents are loving, welcoming and capable of taking care of their children
We often shift the responsibility to school, church and society. But certain things are best done by Parents. Your children are one job that no one else can do better than you.

  • Love them
  • Teach them – by example
  • Train them
  • Provide for them
  • Guide them
  • Discipline them
  • Pray for them.

A woman who teaches someone else’s children is accorded professional status, but when she teaches her own children – she is just a mother.

A woman who cooks at a restaurant has a profession. When she feeds her husband and children, she is just cooking.

It has been well said that there are so many fathers who have children, but so few children who have fathers.

For boys in particular, Fathers are indispensable.

It takes men to build men

Do not focus on your role or responsibility alone, but know their needs and meet them

What children need most, besides discipline is

  • God
  • Significance
  • Love
  • Acceptance
  • Praise
  • Security
  • Self-esteem

CONCLUSION: To Establish Unity In The Family, this is the secret:

  1. Unless the Lord builds the house, those who built it, labor in vain
  2. Pray with and for your family.
  3. Keep your heart with all diligence, for from it flows the springs of life.
  4. The happiest families are those who talk the most with each other
  5. Understand your spouse’s and children’s basic needs and be willing to meet them
  6. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.
  7. Commitment to your family builds lasting memories and relationships with your spouse and children, the people you are most responsible for.
  8. Marriage is a companionship in which each partner helps each other to grow to maturity.
  9. The proper use of money is to prosper and profit by its use.
  10. Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.